I wonder why Kamalhasan is called Universal Hero, he should be the Universal artist. In the row from Micheal Madhana Kamarajan, Singaravelan, Avvai Shanmughi, Kadhala Kadhala, Panjathanthiram, Thenali, Sadhi Leelavathi, Vasool Raja, MANMADHAN AMBU too stands high for his intelligence. No one else could do this other than KAMALHASAN. His intelligence stands high in his screen play and dialogue.
Coming to the movie, the story is about romance and comedy. Trisha (Actress-Ambu) and Madhavan(Madhan) are lovers, they get engaged and there comes a time when madhavan suspects trisha and they get break up. But he couldnt leave her, so he ask Kamal (Major Mannar- Detective) to spy trisha who has gone to france for a holiday trip with Sangeetha(Deepa) & her two children. Kamal does it for Ramesh arvind(Rajan) who is need of money for his treatment for cancer. Madhavan refuses to pay the money to the hospital after kamal certified Trisha as perfectly good and still loves MADHAN. But being honest loyal, MANNAR was not paid for it, so he starts his play with MADHAN. There comes the thagidadhaththom song, very well shooted and choreographed. Later to this play Trisha falls in love with kamal. You will get to know all about this when you go out watch the movie.
The films first half is mixed of sentiments, comedy and second half its crackling laughter. A very well scripted dialogues. He stands high for each and every dialogue. NEELAVAANAM song extraordinary, innovative choreography - FIRST TIME in Indian cinema. All the actors have done there part very well. Madhavan is equally competing with Kamal as he had done it befor in ANBE SIVAM. To be highlighted is the KAMAL-TRISHA Kavidhai which was under contradiction and has been deleted in TAMILNADU. That particular song is the twist are very important sequence in the movie without which many would be a question mark. I dont find anything harm in that song it would be good if it was released with those lines . There are many intelligent scenes which can be noticed when keenly concentrated. But this can be done only after seeing four five time as usual KAMAL FILMs. The two child artist and malayalam artists has done an excellent performance along with sangeetha.
இது வரை கண்டிடாத அளவுக்கு தமிழ் சினிமாவை ஒரு புது பரினமத்துக்கு எடுத்து சென்றுள்ளது…
The over hype given to the movie was no wrong.. except for the few things that could be avoided..
ஆர்ப்பாட்டமே இல்லாத superstar entry… A simplest intro for superstar so far in all his films.. ஆரம்பத்துல கொஞ்சம் slowa ஆரம்பிச்சாலும்.. எந்திரன் உருவானதும் படம் பார்க்கும் mood கிளம்புகிறது..the real film starts from the intro of endhiran to the world.. மொத்தம் படத்தில் ஏராளாமான ரஜினி.. ஆனால் முக்கியமான கதாபாத்திரங்கள் scientist vaseegaran and robot chitti.. வயதானாலும் ஐஸ்வர்யாவின் அழகு குறையவில்லை, இன்னும் ice உலக அழகிதான் என்று கூறினாலும் மிகை ஆகாது.. ஆனால் சில இடங்களில் இருவரின் வயதும் வெளி தெரிகிறது,ஆனால் அது தவிர்க்க முடியாது… நகைச்சுவைக்காக சந்தானம், கருணாசும் படத்தில் இருந்தாலும், chitti rajniyin நகைச்சுவை அருமை.. சிறு குழந்தைகளின் ரசனையை ஈர்க்கும்.. வசீகரன் chitti யை உருவாக்கின நோக்கம் india ராணுவத்துக்காக போர்புரிப்பதர்க்காக.. ஆனால் வசீகரனின் professor அந்த chittiyai நிராகரிக்கிறார்.. அதற்க்கு அவர் சொல்லும் காரணம் – சித்தியால் மனித உயிர்க்கு ஆபத்து.. ஒரு கட்டத்தில் வசீகரன் chittiyin மீது மனித உணர்சிகளை பதிக்கிறார்.. பின் அதன் விளைவு என்னவென்பதுதான் மீதி கதை…. தியேட்டர்ல பாருங்கா…
அமைதியாக உட்கார்ந்து படம் பார்பவரை கூட சில பல காட்சிகள் கைத்தட்ட வைக்கின்றது… குழந்தையின் deliveryai பார்க்கும் scene சூபர், mind blowing… கடைசி 20 நிமிடம் நம் இருக்கையின் நுனியில் உட்கார வைத்து ரசிக்க தோன்றுகிறது.. Great visual treat..
Kadhal anukkalin பாடல் காட்சிகள் அழகு என்று சொன்னால் மிகை ஆகாது.. Kilimanjaro கண்ணுக்கு கிளிற்சியாக உள்ளது… மற்ற பாடல்கள் நன்றாக இருந்தாலும் அதை தவிர்த்திருக்கலாம்..
ஒரு சில வேண்டாத காட்சிகள் – kalabavan mani ஐஸ்வர்யாவிடம் வம்பு செய்வது, chitti sana(aish) vukkaaga kosu pudippadhu.. இந்த காட்சி பெரியவர்களால் ரசிக்க முடியாவிட்டாலும் சிறு குழந்தைகளை கவர் வதற்காக சேர்க்க பட்டுள்ளது என்று கூறலாம்…
ரஜினி படம் என்று செல்லும் அனைவருக்கும் ஏமாற்றமே தரும், இது முழுக்க ஷங்கரின் படம், அதில் ரஜினி அற்புதமாக நடித்துள்ளார்..
Superstar has prooved that there isnt no villian greater than him... that too d scene in which chitti finds vasee in his gang.. chance eh illaa.. adhukkagave palamurai paakkalaam...
We don’t see things as they are; we see things as we are. You may not be aware of this little-known but highly important part of your person that affects many of the decisions you make and how you behave in different situations. It is your Belief Window.
You cannot actually see your Belief Window because it’s invisible, but we all have one. It is figuratively attached to your head and hangs in front of your face. Every time you move, that window goes with you. You look at the world through it, and what you see is filtered back to you through it.
Your Belief Window is always there with you, filtering what you see - the oceans of data and information helping you make sense of the world around you. It influences the way you perceive others, the way you read situations, and the feelings you have about yourself.
The tricky thing about the Belief Window is that you have placed perceptions on it which you believe are absolutely true, whether they reflect reality or not. For example, your experiences and social feedback may have caused you to believe that you are smart, stupid, beautiful, ugly, competent, incompetent, creative, or dull - regardless of whether they are true. And because you believe them you unquestioningly act as though they are. That’s why changing our behavior is sometimes such a difficult task.
Until we realize that we view the world through our Belief Windows and that it constantly filters our experiences, we will continue to think that we see life “as it really is.”
One of the most important things we can do is to make sure our Belief Window is as clear as possible and truly reflects the reality. This may be the most difficult thing to do. You will probably have to swallow your pride, and admit that you do have a Belief Window that affects much of what you do, and recognize that some of the things you’ve placed on it are incorrect. In doing so, you will have achieved the critical first step in freeing yourself from erroneous self-ideas that may be impeding your progress.
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.
Are we going to take some time to think where we are up to??
In a certain place the fishermen were catching fish. A kite swooped down and snatched a fish. At the sight of the fish, about twenty crows chased the kite and made a great noise with their cawing.
Whichever way the kite flew with the fish, the crows followed it. The kite flew to the south and the crows followed it there. The kite flew to the north and still the crows followed after it. The kite went east and west, but with the same result. As the kite began to fly about in confusion, it tired itself out and let go of the fish in its mouth. The crows at once let the kite alone and flew after the fish. Thus relieved of its worries, the kite sat on the branch of a tree and thought, “That wretched fish was the root of all my troubles. I have now got rid of it and therefore I am at peace.”
As long as a man has the fish, that is, lusty desires, he must perform actions and consequently suffer from worry, anxiety and restlessness. No sooner does he renounce these lusty desires than his activities fall away and he enjoys peace of soul.
The kite cannot live without the fish, for it needs the fish to survive. But luckily for us, there is no compulsion. Lusty desires and suffering come bundled together in a take-it-or-leave-it package.
One of the most pervasive and destructive mental tendencies I’ve seen is that of focusing on what we want instead of what we have. It doesn’t seem to make any difference how much we have; we just keep expanding our list of desires, which guarantees we will remain dissatisfied. The mindset that says “I’ll be happy when this desire is fulfilled” is the same mindset that will repeat itself once that desire is met.
We want this or that. If we don’t get what we want we keep thinking about all that we don’t have -- and we remain dissatisfied. If we do get what we want, we simply recreate the same thinking in our new circumstances. So, despite getting what we want, we still remain unhappy. Happiness can’t be found when we are yearning for new desires.
Luckily, there is a way to be happy. It involves changing the emphasis of our thinking from what we want to what we have. Each time you notice yourself falling into the “I wish life were different” trap, back off and start over. Take a breath and remember all that you have to be grateful for. When you focus not on what you want, but on what you have, you end up getting more of what you want anyway.
Make a note to yourself to start thinking more about what you have than what you want. If you do, your life will start appearing much better than before.
A person who is not disturbed by the incessant flow of desires—that enter like rivers into the ocean, which is ever being filled but is always still—can alone achieve peace, and not the man who strives to satisfy such desires.
Have you ever noticed that the more seriously you take your mistakes, the more you make them? And the more seriously you take your problems, the more you create them?
This is because your behavior follows your attention just as surely as baby puppies follow their mother. Wherever the bulk of your energy lies, your behavior is sure to follow. When your mind is full of confusing or conflicting details, mistakes, and problems, your attention is riveted in a negative direction. Thus, when you make a big deal out of something you have done wrong, you are actually setting the stage to repeat the mistake.
Mental energy is a very powerful and potentially useful tool. However, energy cuts both ways. If your energy is directed exclusively toward problems and concerns, that is what you will see and what you will tend to create.
If your energy is abundant, however, your mind will be in a more creative mode – searching for solutions, seeing opportunities, building on strengths. Your mind will be open to suggestions to new and better ways of doing things. You will have a winning attitude.
Kathy, a girl, became physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually ill by justifying her hatred towards her father. Her father reportedly abandoned the family - Kathy, her mother & six other children. While at home, he physically abused everyone and they were all terrified of him. None of them knew when he would lose his temper and turn violent.
Kathy was affected by chronic state of anger which caused lots of imbalances in her own life more than anyone else's. She would lash out at those nearby with only the slightest provocation like her father. Her actions cost Kathy heavily, ending up with strained, unhappy relationships and changing job after job.
Hatred and bitterness percolated to her physical levels and she suffered from headaches, stomach problems and eventually developed arthritis. By her twenty-fifth birthday Kathy looked middle aged. She would re-live the miseries of her past each day and cry out that 'he was a terrible person'.
She knew she would be better off if only she could learn to forgive her father, but she just couldn't do it, nor did she wanted anyone else to forgive him.
Kathy started the process of forgiveness. Lead by her inner guidance and persistent effort, tried to soften her emotions and change her thought patterns. Slowly she came to understand how her father could have acted so violently, she began to feel pity for him, then compassion and then love.
A person can move forward with a renewed sense of peace when there is no longer the burden of withheld forgiveness. When Kathy learned to forgive her father, she began to forgive and love herself. Her life transformed into a better one and her physical problems cleared up.
Your own moods can be extremely deceptive. They can, and probably do, trick you into believing your life is far worse than it really is.
When you’re in a good mood, life looks great. You have perspective, common sense, and wisdom. In good moods, thing don’t feel so hard, problems seem less formidable and easier to solve. When you’re in a good mood, relationships seem to flow and communication is easy. If you are criticized, you take it in stride.
On the contrary, when you’re in a bad mood, life looks unbearably serious and difficult. You have very little perspective. You take things personally and often misinterpret those around you, as you impute malignant motives into their actions.
Here’s the catch: People don’t realize their moods are always on the run. They think instead that their lives have suddenly become worse in the past day, or even the last hour.
In every mistake there is the potential for growth. Inherent in every problem there is a solution. When you take the process too seriously, however, you interfere with your ability to see answers.
The next time you make a mistake, instead of dealing with it in your usual way, laugh at yourself instead. You will be surprised at how quickly and easily you are able to resolve the issue.
A decision to make light of your mistakes, to remain lighthearted, doesn’t mean you don’t care or that you’re not concerned with making an error. It simply means that you refuse to compound a problem by making a bigger deal out of something than is absolutely necessary. It means that you understand the value of keeping your perspective and sense of humor even in the face of adversity.
The fact is: The more seriously you take your mistakes, the more you make them. And the more seriously you take your problems, the more you create them. When you make a big deal out of something you have done wrong, you are actually setting the stage to repeat the mistake.
Keep your mind open to suggestions to new and better ways of doing things. Learn from the mistake and keep moving ahead in life.
Eight monkeys are put in a room. In the middle of the room is a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas hanging from a hook on the ceiling. Each time a monkey tries to climb the ladder; all the monkeys are sprayed with ice water, which makes them miserable.
Sooner enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the ladder, all of the other monkeys, not wanting to be sprayed, set upon him and beat him up. Soon, none of the eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder.
One of the original monkeys is then removed, and a new monkey is put in the room. Seeing the bananas and the ladder, he wonders why none of the other monkeys are doing the obvious, but, undaunted, he immediately begins to climb the ladder. All the other monkeys fall upon him and beat him silly. He has no idea why. However, he no longer attempts to climb the ladder.
A second original monkey is removed and replaced. The newcomer again attempts to climb the ladder, but all the other monkeys hammer the crap out of him. This includes the previous new monkey, who, grateful that he's not on the receiving end this time, participates in the beating because all the other monkeys are doing it. However, he has no idea why he's attacking the new monkey.
One by one, all the original monkeys are replaced.
Eight new monkeys are now in the room. None of them have ever been sprayed by ice water.
None of them attempt to climb the ladder. All of them will enthusiastically beat up any new monkey who tries, without having any idea why.
The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.
Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions. But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky.
The worst had happened - everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger.
"God, how could you do this to me?" he cried.
Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him.
"How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers.
"We saw your smoke signal", they replied.
It's easy to get discouraged sometimes when things appear to be going badly. But we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering.
Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground, it just may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of God.
Put things into perspective before you become upset or angry. Look into some relaxation techniques and deep breathing exercises.
2. Exercise regularly
Exercise increases heart and lung fitness while reducing stress, anxiety and insomnia. It also raises your endorphin levels -- the natural "mood elevators" produced by the brain. Endorphins reduce pain, relax muscles, and produce feelings of well being. As a result, sleep will be deeper and more restful. Even something as simple as brisk walking can have a positive effect, if done regularly.
3. Keep mentally stimulated
Boredom can actually keep you awake! If you’re physically and mentally active, you’re less likely to have poor sleep problem.
4. Eat properly
Limit your intake of fat and fried foods. Avoid eating a large or heavy meal within two to three hours of bedtime. While such a meal can make you feel drowsy at first, you’ll probably toss and turn during the night.
5. Take a warm bath before bed
Just before bedtime (1-2 hours before sleeping), take bath with warm water. This will send blood away from the brain to the skin surfaces, and make you feel relaxed and drowsy. Your body temperature, raised by the warm water, will soon drop if you have a moderately cool bedroom. This will initiate sleepiness and more deep sleep.
6. Establish a bedtime ritual
Establish a bedtime ritual. Read good books. Take your mind off the day’s busy-ness by venturing into the sublime thoughts.
We have to understand the link between our expectations and our frustration levels. Whenever we expect something to be a certain way and it isn’t we’re upset and we suffer.
On the other had, when we let go of our expectations, when you accept life as it is, we’re free. To hold on is to be serious and uptight. To let go is to lighten up.
A good exercise is to try to approach a single day without expectations. Don’t expect people to be friendly. When they’re not, you won’t be surprised or bothered. If they are, you’ll be delighted.
Don’t expect your day to be problem free. Instead, as problems come up, say to yourself, “Ah, another hurdle to overcome.” As you approach your day in this manner you’ll notice how graceful life can be.
Rather than fighting against life, pretty soon, with practice, you’ll lighten up your entire life.
The happier person on earth isn’t always happy. In fact, the happiest people all have their fair share of low moods, problems, and disappointments. Often the difference between a person who is happy and someone who is unhappy isn’t how often they get low, or even how low they drop, but instead, it’s what they do with their low moods. How do they relate to their feelings?
Most people have it backward. When they are feeling down, they roll up their sleeves and get to work. They take their low moods very seriously and try to figure out and analyze what’s wrong. They try to force themselves out of their low state, which tends to compound the problem rather than solve it.
When you observe peaceful, relaxed people, you find that when they are feeling good, they are very grateful. They understand that both positive and negative feelings come and go, and that there will come a time when they won’t be feeling so good. To happy people, this is okay; it’s the way of things. They accept the inevitability of passing feelings. So, when they are feeling depressed, angry, or stressed out, they relate to these feelings with the same openness and wisdom. Rather than fight their feelings and panic simply because they are feeling bad, they accept their feelings, knowing that this too shall pass.
Rather than stumbling and fighting against their negative feelings, they are graceful in their acceptance of them. This allows them to come gently and gracefully out of negative feeling states into more positive states of mind.
The next time you’re feeling bad, instead of panicking, you can be graceful and calm. Know that if you don’t fight your negative feelings, if you are graceful, they will pass away.
Yudhisthira Maharaja describing the glories of forgiveness cited the verse spoken in ancient times by the Rsi Kasyapa:
‘Forgiveness is virtue, forgiveness is sacrifice and forgiveness is the Vedas. Forgiveness is purity and penance; it is truth, piety, religion, and the holy Narayana. Through forgiveness the universe is sustained, and by practicing forgiveness a man can attain to everlasting regions of bliss.’
“How then can I renounce forgiveness, O Draupadi, in which is established spirituality, truth, wisdom and the three worlds? Both this world and the next belong to the forgiving person. Therefore forgiveness is considered the highest virtue.”
Srila Prabhupada mentions in Srimad-Bhagavatam 6.4.5 A sadhu, a devotee, is never angry. Actually the real feature of devotees who undergo tapasya, austerity, is forgiveness.
In another letter Srila Prabhupada writes: We should learn to forget and forgive minor incidents because whenever there are two men in a place, there is always some misunderstanding.
Once upon a time there was a painter who had just completed his course under disciple hood of a great painter. This young artist decided to assess his skills. He decided to give his best strokes on the canvass. He took 3 days and painted beautiful scenery. He wanted people's opinion about his caliber and painting skills.
He put his creation at a busy street-crossing. And just down below a board which read-"Gentlemen, I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. Please put a cross wherever you see a mistake."
While he came back in the evening to collect his painting he was completely shattered to see that whole canvass was filled with Xs (crosses) and some people had even written their comments on the painting.
Disheartened and broken completely he ran to his master's place and burst into tears. Sobbing and crying he told his master about what happened and showed the pathetic state of his creation which was filled with crosses and correction remarks.
This young artist was breathing heavily and master heard him saying "I'm useless and if this is what I have learnt to paint I'm not worth becoming a painter. People have rejected me completely. I feel like dying"
Master smiled and suggested "My Son, I will prove that you are a great artist and have learnt a flawless painting." Young disciple couldn't believe it and said "I have lost faith in me and I don't think I am good enough. Don't make false hopes..
"Do as I say without questioning it. It WILL work." Master interrupted him.
Young artist reluctantly agreed and two days later early morning he presented a replica of his earlier painting to his master. Master took that gracefully and smiled.
"Come with me." master said.
They reached the same street-square early morning and displayed the same painting exactly at the same place. Now master took out another board which read -"Gentlemen, I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. I have put a box with colors and brushes just below. Please do a favor. If you see a mistake, kindly pick up the brush and correct it." Master and disciple walked back home.
They both visited the place same evening. Young painter was surprised to see that actually there was not a single correction done so far. Next day again they visited and found painting remained untouched. They say the painting was kept there for a month for no correction came in!
It is easier to criticize, but difficult to improve. If you want to help people improve their behavior it is worth investing your effort in learning how to help people change their behaviors, attitudes and skills. Also, always remember not to get carried away or judge yourself by someone else’s criticism and feel depressed. Take criticism in your stride; consider that which are genuine and implement those which you think is the best to improve you as a person!!
On the first day, as President Abraham Lincoln entered to give his inaugural address, just in the middle, one man stood up. He was a rich aristocrat. He said, “Mr. Lincoln, you should not forget that your father used to make shoes for my family.” And the whole Senate laughed; they thought they had made a fool of Abraham Lincoln.
But Lincoln --- and that type of people are made of a totally different mettle. Lincoln looked at the man and said, “Sir I know that my father used to make shoes in your house for your family, and there will be many others here…. Because the way he made shoes; nobody else can. He was a creator. His shoes were not just shoes; he poured his whole soul in it. I want to ask you, have you any complaint? Because I know how to make shoes myself. If you have any complaint I can make another pair of shoes. But as far as I know, nobody has ever complained about my father’s shoes. He was a genius, a great creator and I am proud of my father”.
The whole Senate was struck dumb. They could not understand what kind of man Abraham Lincoln was. He was proud because his father did the job so well that not even a single complaint had ever been heard.
Remember: “No one can hurt you without your consent.”
“It is not what happens to us that hurts us. It is our response that hurts us.”
There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet.
He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. He knows that when the boys find out, they will make fun of him.
The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays, "Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead."
He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered.
As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate named Ravi is carrying a jug that is filled with water. Ravi trips in front of the teacher and mysteriously dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap.
The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, "Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!"
All of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out.
All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful. But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else - Ravi.
Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Ravi and whispers, “You did that on purpose, didn't you?"
Ravi whispers back, "I wet my pants once too."
Each and everyone one of us are going through tough times. May God help us see the opportunities that are always around us to do good.
Humility and inner peace go hand in hand. The less compelled you are to try to prove yourself to others, the easier it is to feel peaceful inside.
Proving yourself is a dangerous trap. It takes an enormous amount of energy to be continually pointing out your accomplishments, bragging, or trying to convince others of your worth as a human being. Pride and arrogance actually dilutes the positive feelings you receive from an accomplishment or something you are proud of. To make matters worse, the more you try to prove yourself, the more others will avoid you, talk behind your back about your insecure need to boast, and perhaps even dislike you.
Ironically, however, the less you care about seeking approval, the more approval you seem to get. People are drawn to those with a quiet, inner confidence, people who don’t need to make themselves look good, be “right” all the time, or steal the glory.
Most people love a person who doesn’t need to show-off, a person who shares from his or her heart and not from his or her ego.
Almost everyone feels that their own opinions are good ones; otherwise they wouldn’t be sharing them with you. One of the destructive things that many of us do, however, is compare someone else’s opinion to our own. And, when it doesn’t fall in line with our belief, we either dismiss it or find fault with it. We feel smug, the other person feels diminished, and we learn nothing.
Almost every opinion has some merit, especially if we are looking for merit, rather than looking for errors. The next time someone offers you an opinion, rather than judge or criticize it, see if you can find a grain of truth in what the person is saying. If you think about it, when you judge someone else or their opinion, it really doesn’t say anything about the other person, but it says quite a bit about your need to be judgmental.
If you practice this simple idea, some wonderful things will begin to happen: you’ll begin to understand those you interact with, other will be drawn to your accepting and loving energy, your learning curve will be enhanced, and perhaps most important, you’ll feel much better about yourself.
One of the mistakes many of us make is that we feel sorry for ourselves, or for others, thinking that life should be fair, or that someday it will be. It’s not and it won’t. When we make this mistake we tend to spend a lot of time complaining about what’s wrong with life. We commiserate with others, discussing the injustices of life. “It’s not fair,” we complain, not realizing that, perhaps, it was never intended to be.
One of the nice things about surrendering to the fact that life isn’t fair is that it keeps us from feeling sorry for ourselves by encouraging us to do the very best we can with what we have. We know it’s not “life job” to make everything perfect, it’s our own challenge. Surrendering to this fact also keeps us from feeling sorry for others because we are reminded that every one is dealt with a different hand, and everyone has unique strengths and challenges, according to Law of Karma.
The fact that life isn’t fair doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do everything in our power to improve our own lives or the world as a whole. To the contrary, it suggests that we should. When we don’t recognize or admit that life isn’t fair, we tend to feel pity for others and for ourselves. Pity, of course, is a self-defeating emotion that does nothing for anyone, except to make everyone feel worse than they already do.
When we do recognize that life isn’t fair, however, we feel compassion for others and for ourselves. And compassion is a heartfelt emotion that delivers loving-kindness to everyone it touches. The next time you find yourself thinking about the injustices of the world, try reminding yourself of this very basic fact. You may be surprised that it can nudge you out of self-pity into helpful action.
Using you back burner means allowing your mind to solve a problem while you are busy doing something else.
The back burner of your mind works in the same way as the back burner of a stove. While on low heat, the cooking process mixes, blends, and simmers the ingredients into a tasty meal. The way you prepare a meal is to put various ingredients into the pot, mix them up, and leave them alone. Often the less you interfere, the better the result.
In much the same way, we can solve many of life’s problems (serious and otherwise) if we feed the back burner of our mind with a list of problems, facts, and variables, and possible solutions. Just as when we make soup or a sauce, the thoughts and ideas we feed the back burner of our mind must be left alone to simmer properly.
Whether you are struggling to solve a problem or can’t remember a person’s name, your back burner is always available to help you. It puts our quieter, softer, and sometimes most intelligent source of thinking to work for us on issues that we have no immediate answer for.
The back burner is not a prescription for denial or procrastination. In other words, while you do want to put your problems on your back burner, you don’t want to turn the burner off. Instead, you want to gently hold the problem in your mind without actively analyzing it. This simple technique will help you solve many problems and will greatly reduce the stress and effort in your life.
You have chances to point out to someone their mistakes, things they could or should have done differently, ways they can improve. You have chances to “correct” people, privately as well as in front of others.
However, most of the time, the reason we are tempted to put others down, correct them, or show them how we’re right and they’re wrong is that our ego mistakenly believes that if we point out how someone else is wrong, we must be right, and therefore we will feel better.
Actually, however, if you pay attention to the way you feel after you put someone down, you’ll notice that you feel worse than before the put-down.
Avoid putting others down, correct them, or show them how you are right and how they are wrong. Do it only when it is absolutely necessary and when it is your duty as a parent, guardian or a friend to do so.
A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. When the other frogs saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.
The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?" The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.
This story teaches two lessons: 1. There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day. 2. A destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes to kill them.
Be careful of what you say. Speak life to those who cross your path. The power of words... it is sometimes hard to understand that an encouraging word can go such a long way. Anyone can speak words that tend to rob another of the spirit to continue in difficult times. Special is the individual who will take the time to encourage another.
karuvil pirantha ella marikum arivil piranthu maripathe illai
idho en endhiran ivan amaran
naan innoru naanmukane nee enbavan – magane aan petravan aan magane aam un peyar endhirane Naan enbathu arivu mozhi yen enbathu enathu vazhi vaan pondrathu enathu veli naan nalaya gnana oli
nee kondathu udal vadivam naan kondathu porul vadivam nee kandathu oru piravi naan kaanpathu pala piravi
robo robo panmozhikal katralum en thanthai mozhi tamizh allavaa!
robo robo pala kandam vendralum en karthaavukku adimai allava!
minmeengal vinnodu minnalgal kannodu google-kal kanadha thedalgal ennodu kaalangal kaana kathal pen poove unnodu iRobo un kathil I love you sollatta?
I am a super girl un kathal rapper girl ennulle ennellam neethane neethane un neela kannoram minsaram paripen en neela pallale unnodu siripen en engine nenjodu un nenjai anaipen nee thoongum nerathil naan ennai anaipen ennaalum eppodhum un kayil bommaiyaven
watch me robo shake it i know you want to break it thottu pesum podhum shock adikka koodum kathal seiyum neram motor vegam koodum iravil naduvil battery than theerum memoryil kumariyai thani sirai pidithen shutdown-ne seiyyamal iravinil ellam theya theya naalum unnai padithen unnale thane – en
vithikalai maranthen echil illa endhan mutham sarchai indrik kolvaya? rattham illa kathal endru otthi poga solvaya? uyiriyal mozhikalil endhiran thanadi ulaviyil mozhikalil indhiran naanadi sathal illa saabam vaangi manmele vandhene theimaname illa kathal kondu vandhene
Hey… Robo… mayakathey… you wanna come and get it boy Oh are you just a robo toy I don’t want to break you even if it takes to kind of like a break through you don’t even need a clue you be my man’s back up i think you need a checkup i can melt your heart down may be if you got one we doing that for ages since in time of sages muttadhey orampo nee en kaalaisutthum paambo kathal seiyum robo nee thevaiyillai po po
Death was walking toward a city one morning and a man asked, "What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to take 100 people." Death replied.
"That's horrible" the man said.
"That's the way it is." Death said. "That's what I do."
The man hurried to warn everyone he could about Death's plan.
As evening fell, he met Death again. "You told me you were going to take 100 people," the man said, "Why did 1,000 die?"
"I kept my word" Death responded. "I only took 100 people. Worry took the other...."
Worry is, and always will be, a fatal disease, for its beginning signals the end of faith. Worry intrudes on God's compassionate ability to provide & protect us. When we allow our problems to overshadow God's promises, we unknowingly, doom ourselves to defeat.
Release the regrets of yesterday and refuse the fears of tomorrow.
Nan-in, a Japanese master received a university professor who came to inquire about the Absolute Truth.
Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor's cup full, and then kept on pouring.
The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. "It is overfull. No more will go in!"
"Like this cup," Nan-in said, "you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you the Absolute Truth unless you first empty your cup?"
Hence it’s very important when we hear or take association from seniors; we go with an empty cup and hear with an open mind, keeping aside our own opinions and speculations.
A lady bought some bathing soaps from a shop. When she opened one of the packets, she found that it was empty. There was no soap in there; it was just an empty wrapper! She lodged a complaint against the manufacturer and got her claim. That being settled, there was a task before the management of the soap factory. How had this happened? How could they ensure that the incident did not occur again? They had suffered enough bad publicity besides having to pay the compensation to the lady.
After a detailed investigation, it was discovered, that during the process of wrapping, it so happened that inevitably, one or two wrappers did get through, having no bar of soap in them! There was no way to make out the difference between a full wrapper and an empty one. The process of handling each one separately for this purpose seemed to be very cumbersome. So, the technical head was given the job of devising a method to overcome the problem. The man prepared a detailed report and proposed the setting up of a computer based system that would weigh and scan each bar, for the empty packs would not get detected by a normal x-ray machine. He proposed an expenditure of a large amount to put this system into place.
The management heard him out and passed the order to release the funds and to buy the machinery that he had proposed. An uneducated worker said, “Excuse me Sir, for my impertinence, but I have a solution that shall cost a fraction of what you are planning to go in for.”
The management hesitated initially. But eventually they heard him out and agreed to try out his proposal. The next day, the worker brought a strong industrial fan. He put it at an angle near the conveyor belt on which the packed soap bars were coming through and switched it on. The few empty wrappers that came through got blown off by the fan! The rest of them went past easily.
A simple solution, for a complex problem! This goes to prove that ideas are not the monopoly of the educated.
There was a millionaire who was bothered by severe eye pain. He consulted so many physicians and was getting his treatment done. He did not stop consulting galaxy of medical experts; he consumed heavy loads of drugs and underwent hundreds of injections.
But the ache persisted with great vigor than before. At last a monk who was supposed to be an expert in treating such patients was called for by the millionaire. The monk understood his problem and said that for sometime he should concentrate only on green colors and not to fall his eyes on any other colors. The millionaire got together a group of painters and purchased barrels of green color and directed that every object his eye was likely to fall to be painted in green color just as the monk had directed.
When the monk came to visit him after few days, the millionaire's servants ran with buckets of green paints and poured on him since he was in red dress, lest their master not see any other color and his eye ache would come back.
Hearing this the monk laughed and said "If only you had purchased a pair of green spectacles, worth just a few rupees, you could have saved these walls and trees and pots and all other articles and also could have saved a large share of his fortune. You cannot paint the world green!"
Let us change our vision and the world will appear accordingly. It is foolish to shape the world, let us shape ourselves first.
A young couple move into a new neighborhood. The next morning, while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hang the wash outside.
"That laundry is not very clean", she said, "she doesn't know how to wash properly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap".
Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.
About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: "Look! She has learned how to wash properly. I wonder who taught her this."
The husband said: "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows!"
And so it is with life: "What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look. Before we give any criticism, it might be a good idea to check our state of mind and ask ourselves if we are ready to see the good rather than to be looking for something in the person we are about to judge."
A kindergarten teacher has decided to let her class play a game.
The teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few potatoes.
Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates,
So the number of potatoes that a child will put in his/her plastic bag will depend on the number of people he/she hates.
So when the day came, every child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he/she hated. Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes. The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes in the plastic bag wherever they go (even to the toilet) for 1 week.
Days after days passed by, and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out by the rotten potatoes. Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags. After 1 week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended....
The teacher asked: "How did you feel while carrying the potatoes with you for 1 week?". The children let out their frustrations and started complaining of the trouble that they had to go through having to carry the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they go.
Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game. The teacher said: "This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred for somebody inside your heart. The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just 1 week, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for your lifetime???"
Moral of the story: Throw away any hatred for anyone from your heart so that you will not carry sins for a lifetime. Forgiving others is the best attitude to take!
True love is not loving a perfect person but loving an imperfect person perfectly!!
A little boy got angry with his mother and shouted at her, "I hate you, I hate you." Because of fear of reprimand, he ran out of the house. He went up to the valley and shouted, "I hate you, I hate you," and the echo returned, "I hate you, I hate you."
Having never heard an echo before, he was scared, and ran to his mother for protection. He said there was a bad boy in the valley who shouted "I hate you, I hate you"
The mother understood and she asked her son to go back and shout, "I love you, I love you". The little boy went and shouted, "I love you, I love you," and back came the echo.
That taught the little boy a lesson: Our life is like an echo. We get back what we give.
A physician gave some rather whimsical advice to a patient, an aggressive, go-getter type of businessman. Excitedly the businessman told the doctor what an enormous amount of work he had to do and that he had to get it done right away or else things will fall apart.
“I take my brief case home every night and it’s packed with work,” he said with nervous inflection.
“Why do you take work home with you at night?” the doctor asked quietly.
“I have to get it done,” he fumed.
“Can’t someone else do it, or help you with it?” asked the doctor.
“No,” the man snapped. “I am the only one who can do it. It must be done just right, and I alone can do it as it must be done, and it has to be done quickly. Everything depends upon me.”
“If I write a prescription, will you follow it?” asked the doctor.
This, believe it or not was the prescription. His patient was to take off half-day a week and spend that half-day in cemetery.
In astonishment the patient demanded, “Why should I spend a half-day in a cemetery?”
“Because,” answered the doctor, “I want you to wander around and look at the gravestones of men who are there permanently. I want you to meditate on the fact that many of them are there because they thought even as you do, that the whole world rested on their shoulders. Meditate on the fact that when you get there permanently the world will go on just the same &, as important as you are, others will be able to do the work you are now doing.”
The patient got the idea. He stopped fuming & fretting. He got peaceful and developed a more competent organization & his business is in better condition.
If you observe the conversations around you, you’ll notice that, often, what many of us do is simply wait for our chance to speak. We’re not really listening to the other person, but simply waiting for an opening to express our own view. We often complete other people’s sentences, or say things like, “Yeah, yeah,” or “I know,” very rapidly, urging them to hurry up so that we can have our turn.
This harried form of communication encourages us to criticize points of view, overreact, misinterpret meaning, and form opinions, all before our fellow communicator is even finished speaking. No wonder we are so often annoyed, bothered, and irritated with one another. Sometimes, with our poor listening skills, it’s a miracle that we have any friends at all!
You’ll be pleasantly amazed at the softer reactions and looks of surprise as you let others completely finish their thought before you begin yours. Often, you will be allowing someone to feel listened to for the very first time. You will sense a feeling of relief coming from the person to whom you are speaking – and a much calmer, less rushed feeling between the two of you.
No need to worry that you won’t get your turn to speak --- you will. In fact, it will be more rewarding to speak because the person you are speaking to will pick up on your respect and patience and will begin to do the same.
Many of us are reluctant to learn from the people closest to us—our authorities, colleagues, staff and friends. Rather than being open to learning, we close ourselves off out of embarrassment, fear, stubbornness, or pride. It's almost as if we say to ourselves, "I have already learned all that I can [or want to learn] from this person; there is nothing else I can [or need to] learn."
It's sad, because often the people closest to us know us the best. They are sometimes able to see ways in which we are acting in a self-defeating manner and can offer very simple solutions. If we are too proud or stubborn to learn, we lose out on some wonderful, simple ways to improve our lives.
Remain open to the suggestions of your authorities and other devotees. Ask senior devotees and authorities, "What are some of my blind spots?" By this simple process you end up getting some good advice. It's such a simple shortcut for growth, yet almost no one uses it. All it takes is a little courage and humility, and the ability to let go of your ego. This is especially true if you are in the habit of ignoring suggestions, taking them as criticism.
Pick something that you feel the person whom you are asking is qualified to answer. Sometimes the advice we get usually prevents us from having to learn something the hard way.
Sadly, many of us keep convincing ourselves, “Someday I’ll be happy.” We tell ourselves ‘I’ll be happy when I will be a president, when I will be doing so and so service, get a particular mobile phone etc. We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, then another, then another, on and on and on we go with our wish list.
Meanwhile, life keeps moving forward. The truth is, there’s no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?
Your life will always be filled with challenges. It’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.
A wise man said, “For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be got through first, some unfinished invention, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”
In low moods we lose our perspective and everything seems urgent. We completely forget that when we are in a good mood, everything seems so much better. We experience the identical circumstances – who we are married to, where we work, the car we drive, our potential, our childhood – entirely differently, depending on our mood!
When we are low, rather than blaming our mood as would be appropriate, we instead tend to feel that our whole life is wrong. It’s almost as if we actually believe that our lives have fallen apart in the past hour or two.
The truth is, life is almost never as bad as it seems when you’re in a low mood. Rather than staying stuck in a bad temper, convinced you are seeing life realistically, you can learn to question your judgment. Remind yourself, “of course I’m feeling defensive (or angry, frustrated, stressed, depressed); I’m in a bad mood. I always feel negative when I’m low”.
When you’re in an ill mood, learn to pass it off as simply that: an unavoidable human condition that will pass with time, if you leave it alone. A low mood is not the time to analyze your life. To do so is emotional suicide. If you have a legitimate problem, it will still be there when your state of mind improves.
The trick is to be grateful for our good moods and graceful in our low moods not taking them too seriously.
The next time you feel low, for whatever reason, remind yourself, “This too shall pass.” It will. ....
Once two villagers were sitting under a tree and watching the sunset. They were very close friends. After sitting quietly for some time, one asked the other, "What are you thinking?" "I am planning to buy five acres of land, a garden." The other friend immediately said, "Don't buy the garden!" The first one was surprised. He asked "why"? The second one replied, "I am planning to buy a buffalo. Then, my buffalo will enter your garden and we will fight, have misunderstandings and lose our friendship. I do not want to lose our friendship." The first one said, "Then, you cancel your plan of buying a buffalo. I am going to buy my garden." The second one said, "No, no, no. I have already decided to buy a buffalo." Thefirst one said, "How will your buffalo enter my garden? I will fence it thoroughly." The second one said, "No, you see it can just enter; a buffalo is a buffalo. Who can stop it? It can do anything." They started fighting. The fight went to such an extent that they broke their limbs! Neither has bought buffalo nor any land. Nothing has happened. Just the mind’s race and both of them broke their limbs over it! Our fears are also like that. The future has not yet come. But you just sit there and think, "Oh! What will happen? This will happen. That will happen." Many times our minds are filled with anxiety about the future! In this run, the mind gets into such a mess. Don’t be over anxious about the future.
One day I decided to quit... I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God. "God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?" His answer surprised me... "Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?" When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said. "In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. "I would not quit." He said. "Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant... But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle." He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots." "I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you." He said. "The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern ... Yet, they both make the forest beautiful." Your time will come," God said to me. "You will rise high! " God will never give up on you. He will never give up on you. Keep going...
மார்கழி திங்கள் பனியின் விழியில் பூக்கள் எல்லாம் பூத்துக்குலுங்கும் அந்த தருணத்தில் சேவல் கூவும் அந்நேரத்தில் கிரிங் கிரிங் என்ற அலாரம் அடிக்க அவள் பதறி எழுந்து அதை அனைத்து மறுபடியும் உறங்க ஆரம்பித்தாள். அந்த குளிரில் யாருக்குத்தான் தூங்க ஆசை இல்லாதிருக்கும். சிறிது நேரம் பொறுத்து அவள் அம்மா ஒரு கப் காபியுடன் அவளை வந்து எழுப்பி, எந்திரிடா college க்கு டைம் ஆச்சி என்று சொல்ல. அவள் விழிகளும் பூத்தன, அன்று அவள் முதல் பார்வை அவள் அம்மாவின் அழகான புன்னகையுடன் துவங்கியது. அவள் சோம்பல் முறித்துக்கொண்டே அவள் அம்மாவை முத்தமிட்டு கையில் உள்ள காபியை குடித்துவிட்டு அவள் collegu க்கு ரெடி ஆக ஆரம்பித்தால். ஒரு அரை மணி நேரத்தில் அழகு தேவதையைப்போல் அவள் அம்மாவின் முன்னாடி பொய் நின்று, அம்மா நான் கிளம்புறேன் என்று சொல்ல, தாயின் நெஞ்சம் அவள் பசியை அறிந்து இருடா ரெண்டு வாய் சாப்டிட்டு போடா என்று அவளுக்கு ஊட்டி விட, அவள் அதை சாப்பிட்டு கொண்டே, டைம் ஆச்சிமா என்று கூறி அவசர படுத்தினால்.இன்னும் ஒரு வாய் வாங்கிட்டு போடா என்று அவள் அம்மா வைக்க அவள் குதித்து – அம்மா நான் கிளம்புறேன் என்று புறப்பட்டால். செல்லும் வழியில் அவள் அண்ணன் மகனின் மண்டையில் கொட்டு விட்டு ஓடி வீட்டின் வாசலை நெருங்க, அவள் அப்பா எதிரில் வர, நான் கிளம்புறேன் பா என்று சொல்லி கிளம்பினாள்.
காலை ஒரு 7 மணி இருக்கும், சூரியன் கூட இன்னும் முழுமையாக விழிக்கவில்லை, அதற்குள் அவள் கல்லூரிக்கு செல்ல நேரமாயற்று. சென்னை, புறநகரான அம்பத்தூரில் வசிக்கும் அவள் mountroad இல் உள்ள எத்திராஜ் கல்லூரியில் இரண்டாம் ஆண்டு b.sc – physics படிக்கிறாள். தினமும் காலை 7 மணிக்குள் பேருந்தை பிடித்தால்தான், சென்னை மக்களின் பேருந்து கூட்ட நெருசல்களில் இருந்து தப்பித்து நிம்மதியாக கல்லூரியை அடைய முடியும். அந்த இளம் வெயிலில், யாரும் தென்படாதா அந்த தெருவில் அவள் நடந்து வந்துகொண்டிருக்கும் சமயம், எதிரே இரண்டு சின்ன பிள்ளைகள்,பள்ளிக்கு சென்று கொண்டிருக்க, இவளுக்கு என்ன தோன்றியதோ, அந்த பிள்ளைகளின் அருகே இருந்த மரத்தின் கிளையை ஆட்டி, அதில் இருந்த பனித்துளிகள் அவர்கள் மூவரின் மேலும் பட, குஷியுடன் அந்த பிள்ளைகளின் தலையை செல்லமாக கோரி விட்டு பேருந்து நிலையத்துக்கு விரைந்தாள். நிம்மதியாக ஒரு பெருமூச்சி விட்டாள், அவள் செல்ல வேண்டிய பேருந்து இன்னும் வரவில்லை. பேருந்துக்கு காத்திருக்கும் தருணத்தில்தான் அவளிடம் இதுவரை கண்டிராத ஒரு பதற்றம் தோன்றியது – ஆம் எல்லா மாணவர்களுக்கும் தோன்றும் அதே துயரம் தான் அவளுக்கும். அன்று அவள் கல்லூரியில் ஏதோ பரீட்சை போலிருக்கு. அவள் பதற்றத்திற்கு ஏற்றார்போல் பேருந்தும் விரைந்து வந்து நின்றது. எங்கிருந்தார்கள் என்று தெரியவில்லை, திடீரென்று அப்பேருந்தில் நுழைவாயில் அவ்வளவு கூட்டம்,நெரிசல். அவள் தவிப்பு தெரிந்தது, ஒரு seat கிடைக்காத என்ற ஏக்கம் அவள் கண்ணில் தோன்றியது. ஆனால் அவள் தவிப்புக்கு எப்போதும் போல் அதே ஏமாற்றம்தான் மிஞ்சியது. ஒரு சில நிமிடங்களில் பேருந்து நிரம்பி வெளியே வழிந்ததும் கண்டக்டர் whistle அடித்து கிளப்பினார்.. நிரம்பிய பேருந்தில், சிக்கித்தவிக்கும் அவளுக்கு ஒரு ஓரமாக நிற்க கொஞ்சம் இடம் கிடைத்தது. கம்பியை பிடித்து நின்று கொண்டிருந்த அவள், நான்கு பக்கத்திலுமிருந்தும் இடிக்க பட்டு நசுங்கிய நிலையில், அவள் நின்று கொண்டிருந்த இடத்தின் முன் சீட் காலி ஆகவே, அவள் படாரென்று நுழைந்து அவ்விடத்தை பிடித்து அமர்ந்தாள் . அதுவரை கண்டிறாத அமைதியும்,சந்தோஷமும் அவளிடன் அப்போது தோன்றியது.
அவள் கை குட்டையால் அவள் முகத்தில் படிந்த வியர்வையை துடைத்து பையில் இருந்த புத்தகத்தை எடுத்து படிக்க ஆரம்பித்தால். அவள் இரண்டு பக்கம் திருப்புவதற்குள் கண்டக்டர் வந்து டிக்கெட் என்று கூற, அவள் பர்சில் இருந்த இருபது ரூபாய் நோட்டை நீட்டி எதிராஜ் என்று சொன்னதும், அவளிடம் டிக்கெட்டையும் பாக்கி சில்லறையையும் கொடுத்துவிட்டு கிளம்பினார் கண்டக்டர். ஒரு மணி நேர கூட்ட நெரிசலின் பயணத்திலிருந்து விடை பெரும் நேரம் வந்தது, மவுண்ட் ரோடு எட்டியதும் அவள் இருக்கையில் இருந்து எழுந்து நுழைவு வாயிலின் அருகில் சென்றாள். அவளின் நிறுத்தம் வந்ததும் இறங்கினாள்.
மவுண்ட் ரோடு பற்றி சொல்லவே வேண்டாம், எந்நேரமும் பிஸியாகவே இருக்கும், அன்று காலையும் வழக்கம் போல் கார், பஸ், இருசக்கர வாகனங்கள் வேகமாக இருபக்கமும் சென்று கொண்டிருந்தது. இவளோ சாலையை கடப்பதற்காக காத்துக்கொண்டிருக்கும் நேரத்தில், படாரென்று ஒரு சத்தம். கண்மூடி திறக்கும் நொடியில் ஒரு வண்டியில் சென்றுகொண்டிருந்த இளைஞன் சாலையில் வலது பக்கம் திரும்பும் தருணத்தில் வேகமாக வந்த கார் அவன் வண்டியில் உரசி, அங்கையே விழுந்து கிடந்தான். மக்கள் கூட்டம் அவனை சுற்றியது, அதில் ஒரு குரல் எழும்பியது, “ஆளு ஸ்பாட் காலி, யாரும் பக்கத்துல போகாதீங்க, போலீஸ்க்கு போன் பண்ணலாம் ”. சாலையில் அவன் ரத்தம் சிந்தி எங்கும் சிவப்பு நிறமாக தோன்றியது, பக்கத்தில் போகவே பயமாக இருந்த அந்த இடத்தில் அவளும் இருந்தாள். பென்சில் சீவும்போது விரலில் கத்தி பட்டு வரும் சிறிய ரத்தத்தை பார்த்து பயப்படும் அவளுக்கு எங்கிருந்து வந்ததோ அந்த தைரியம் என்று தெரியவில்லை, எல்லோரையும் போல் வேடிக்கை பார்த்து கொண்டு இல்லாமல், அவன் பக்கம் நெருங்கினால். அவனுக்கு தலையில் பின் மண்டையில் தான் ஆழமான காயம், தண்ணீர் குழாயில் பாயும் தண்ணீர் போல் மண்டையின் பின் புறத்திலிருந்து ரத்தம் பாய்ந்து கொண்டிருந்தது.
அவள் அவனது தலையை தூக்கி பிடிக்க, அவனின் மூச்சி எழுந்தது, அவன் உயிருடன் தான் இருக்கிறான் என்று அவளுக்கு தோன்றியதும், அவளின் மென்மையான குரல் கூட கத்த தொடங்கின –‘இன்னும் உயிர் இருக்கு காப்பாத்தலாம், சீக்கிரம் வாங்க’. நம் மக்களோ மெல்ல தயங்கி அவனை நெருங்க, ஏதோ ஒருவன் "தலையில் ரத்தம் கொட்டுவதால் அதை உடனே நிறுத்த வேண்டும்" என்று கூற. யாரிடமும் அதை கட்டும் அளவுக்கு துணி இல்லை. அவளோ அவள் கூச்சத்தை கூட பொருட்படுத்தாமல், அவளின் தோலில் இருந்த துப்பட்டாவை எடுத்து அவன் தலையில் கட்டினாள். வெகுவாக ஒரு வண்டியை அழைத்து அவனை தூக்கி சென்றார்கள்.
அவன் செல்லும்முன் அவளுக்கு கிடைத்த ஒரு ஆறுதல் அவனை தூக்கும் பொது அவனின் புன்னகை. ஆயிரம் அர்த்தங்கள் அடங்கும் புன்னைகை, அவனுக்கு அவள் கடவுளாக...அவனை காப்பாற்றியதற்காக நன்றி தெரிவிக்கும் ஒரு புன்னகைக்கு ஈடு இணை எதுவும் இவ்வுலகில் உண்டோ?? அவனை காப்பாற்றிவிட்டோம் என்ற எண்ணத்தோடு அவள் கல்லூரிக்கு சென்று பரிட்சையை எழுத சென்றாள். அன்று முழுவதும், அவள் துப்பட்டா இல்லாமல்தான் கல்லூரியில் இருந்தால். அவள் கல்லூரியில் இருந்தாலும் அவளுக்கு மீண்டும் மீண்டும் தோன்றியது அந்த புன்னகை மட்டும்தான். அவளிடம் கண்டக்டர் கொடுத்த சில்லறையை தவிர வேறு எந்த பணமும் இல்லை, அவளின் தோழிகளிடம் 50 ருபாய் வாங்கி கல்லூரியில் இருந்து கிளம்பினால். வீட்டிற்க்கு அல்ல, அந்த சுற்றுபுறம் உள்ள எல்லா மருத்துவமனைக்கும் சென்று அந்த இளைஞ்னைப் பற்றி விசாரித்தாள். மதியம் 1 மணியிளவில் ஆரம்பித்த அவளின் தேடல் இரவு 7 மணி வரை தொடர்ந்தும் அவளால் அவனை கண்டுபிடிக்க முடியவில்லை. வீட்டில் எல்லோரும் பதற்றமாய் அவளை தேடி பேருந்து நிலையத்தில் காத்திருக்க, அவளோ அவனைக் காணமுடியாத ஏமாற்றத்துடன் இரவு 9 மணி அளவில் வீட்டிற்கு வந்தடைந்தாள்.
அவள் வீட்டிலோ அவளுக்கு மிஞ்சியது திட்டு மட்டும் தான். அவர்களின் ஒரு வாதம், உனக்கேன் இந்த வேண்டாத வேலை. அவளுக்கோ அவர்களின் திட்டு எதுவும் செவியில் ஒலிக்கவில்லை, அவனின் நினைப்புடன் அவளுடைய அறைக்கு சென்று கதவைச் சாற்றினாள். அவளுக்கு ஆதரவாகவோ அவளின் தைரியத்தை பாராட்டவோ அவள் நட்பை சேகரிக்கவில்லை. அன்று இரவு முழுவதும் அந்த இளைஞனின் நினைவோடு, அவனுக்காக கடவுளிடம் பிரார்த்தனை செய்துக்கொண்டே இருந்தாள். இன்றும் அவள் மனதில் அவன் எங்கோ நன்றாக வாழ்கிறான் என்ற மன திருப்தியுடன் வாழ்கிறாள். அவனின் புன்னகை இன்னும் அவள் மனதில் ஆழமாக பதிந்திருக்க, அவளின் தேடல் ஒரு நாள் பூர்த்தியாகும். இப்படி நம் நாட்டில் எத்தனையோ பெண்கள் அவர்களின் தைரியத்தை ஒரு கட்டு கோப்புக்குள் அடைத்து வைத்திருக்கிறார்கள். இந்த பெண்ணிடம் இருந்த மனிதாபிமானமும் தைரியமும் அந்த கூட்டத்தில் இல்லாத ஆண் இனமே, பெண்ணின் உரிமையையும், அவளின் சுதந்திரத்தையும் பறிக்க நீ யாரடா????.. சமுதாய அக்கறை காட்டுவோம், ஒன்று கூடுவோம்,சம உரிமை காண்போம். நாம் ஒரே இனம், மனித இனம். எல்லோரையும் வாழ வைப்போம். நாமும் வாழ்வோம்.
இது கதையல்ல நிஜம். இந்த வீரச்செயலை செய்த என் தோழிக்கு கணம் கோர்த்து வணங்குகிறேன் வாழ்த்துகிறேன். இக்கதை அவளுக்கும் அவளைபோல் வீரம் கொண்ட அனைத்து பெண்களுக்கும் சமர்ப்பணம்.
"There was a time when I was just a dumb lump of red clay. Then one day my master came. He took me, brought me home, rolled and pounded me on a wooden table. Again and again, he poked his fingers into me until finally I yelled out: 'Don't do that! Leave me alone!' But he only smiled and gently said: "Not yet!"
Then, whoommmm! I was placed on a spinning wheel and suddenly spun around and around and around until I lost all my sense of direction: 'Stop it; don't you see that I'm getting sick? Quickly, take me from the spinning wheel!' But the master only nodded in understanding and quietly said: "Not yet!"
Then he placed me carefully into an oven. I never felt such heat. I yelled and knocked and pounded at the door: 'It is hotter than hell - I'm burning to ashes. Please get me out of here before it is too late.' I could only read his lips as he shook his head from side to side and silently pronounced, "Not yet!"
After I had cooled down he carefully picked me up, looked at me and brushed some dust away. Then he brought the colors! The fumes were horrible! 'Please... you have no mercy! Please, Stop it!' But he only shook his head and said: "Not yet!"
An hour or later he came back and placed a mirror before me and said: "Look at yourself!" And I did.What I saw amazed me. 'That's not me!' I said. 'It is too beautiful...' With a very compassionate voice he spoke: "This is what you are meant to be," and then he explained: "I know it hurt you when I rolled and kneaded you on the table. But if I had not gotten the air out of you, you would have broken. I knew you must have lost all your sense of orientation when I was spinning you. But without this you would never have come into this form. I know the fumes of the colors were intolerable when I painted you all over. But if I had not done that, you would not have had any color in your life."
God is the potter and we are the clay. He will mold us and will expose us to just enough pressures of just the right kinds that we will become a perfect piece of His liking
Essentially, “seek first to understand” implies that you become more interested in understanding others and less in having other people understand you. It means mastering the idea that if you want quality, fulfilling communication that is nourishing to you and others; understanding others must come first.
When you understand where people are coming from, what they are trying to say, what’s important to them, and so forth, being understood flows naturally; it falls into place with virtually no effort. When you reverse this process, however (which is what most of us do most of the time), you are putting the cart before the horse.
When you try to be understood before you understand, the effort you exert will be felt by you and the person or people you are trying to reach. Communication will break down, and you may end up with a battle of two egos.
Seeking first to understand isn’t about who’s right or wrong. It is a philosophy of effective communication. When you practice this method you’ll notice that the people you communicate with will feel listened to, heard, and understood. This will translate into better and more loving relationships.
Compassion is a sympathetic feeling. It involves the willingness to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, to take the focus off yourself and to imagine what it’s like to be in someone else’s predicament, and simultaneously, to feel love for that person.
Compassion is the recognition that other people’s problems, their pain and frustrations, are every bit as real as our own---often far worse. In recognizing this fact and trying to offer some assistance, we open our own hearts and greatly enhance our sense of gratitude.
Compassion is something you can develop with practice. It involves two things: intention and action. Intention simply means you remember to open your heart to others; you expand what and who matters, from yourself to other people. Action is simply the “what you do about it.”
Compassion develops your sense of gratitude by taking your attention off all the little things that most of us have learned to take too seriously.
When you interrupt someone, or finish his or her sentence, you have to keep track not only of your own thoughts but of those of the person you are interrupting as well.
This tendency (which, by the way, is extremely common in busy people), encourages both parties to speed up their speech and their thinking. This, in turn, makes both people nervous, irritable, and annoyed. It is also the cause of many arguments, because if there’s one thing almost everyone resents, it’s someone who doesn’t listen to what they are saying.
Once you begin noticing yourself interrupting other, you’ll see that this tendency is nothing more than an innocent habit that has become invisible to you. This is good news because it means that all you really have to do is to begin catching yourself when you forget. Remind yourself (before a conversation begins, if possible) to be patient and wait. Tell yourself to allow the other person to finish speaking before you take your turn.
You’ll notice, right away, how much the interactions with the people in your life will improve as a direct result of this simple act. The people you communicate with will feel much more relaxed around you when they feel heard and listened to. You’ll also notice how much more relaxed you’ll feel when you stop interrupting others. Your heart and pulse rates will slow down, and you’ll begin to enjoy your conversations rather than rush through them.
This is an easy way to become a more relaxed and loving person.
Many people spend a great deal of energy arguing for their own limitations; “I can’t do that,” “I can’t help it, I’ve always been that way,” and thousands of other negative and self-defeating statements.
Our minds are powerful instruments. When we decide that something is true or beyond our reach, it’s very difficult to pierce through this self-created hurdle.
Suppose, for example, you tell yourself, “I can’t write,” You’ll look for examples to prove your position. You’ll remember your poor essays in high school, or recall how awkward you felt the last time you sat down to write a letter. You’ll fill your head with limitations that will frighten you from trying.
In order to become a writer or anything else, the first step is to silence your greatest critic --- YOU!
It is important to know that there is a relationship between your thinking and the way you feel. It’s important to realize that you are constantly thinking. Don’t be fooled into believing that you are already aware of this fact! Think, for a moment, about your breathing. Until this moment, when you are reading this sentence, you had certainly lost sight of the fact that you were doing it. The truth is, unless you are out of breath, you simply forget that it’s occurring.
Thinking works in the same way. Because you’re always doing it, it’s easy to forget that it’s happening, and it becomes invisible to you. Unlike breathing, however, forgetting that you are thinking can cause some serious problems in your life, such as unhappiness, anger, inner conflicts, and stress. The reason this is true is that your thinking will always come back to you as a feeling.
Try getting angry without first having angry thoughts! Okay, now try feeling stressed out without first having stressful thoughts – or jealous without thoughts of jealousy. You can’t do it – it’s impossible. The truth is, in order to experience a feeling; you must first have a thought that produces that feeling.
Unhappiness doesn’t and can’t exist on its own. Unhappiness is the feeling that accompanies negative thinking about your life. In the absence of that thinking, the unhappiness, or stress, or jealousy, can’t exist. There is nothing to hold your negative feelings in place other than your own thinking. The next time you’re feeling upset, notice your thinking – it will be negative.
Remind yourself that it’s your thinking that is negative, not your life. This simple awareness will be the first step in putting you back on the path toward happiness. It takes practice, but you can get to the point where you treat your negative thoughts in much the same way you would treat flies at a picnic: You shoo them away and get on with your day.
Effective listening is more than simply avoiding the bad habit of interrupting others while they are speaking or finishing their sentences. It’s being content to listen to the entire thought of someone rather than waiting impatiently for your chance to respond.
In some ways, the way we fail to listen is symbolic of the way we live. We often treat communication as if it were a race. It’s almost like our goal is to have no time gaps between the conclusion of the sentences of the person we are speaking with and the beginning of our own.
Slowing down your responses and becoming a better listener aids you in becoming a more peaceful person. It takes pressure from you. If you think about it, you’ll notice that it takes an enormous amount of energy and is very stressful to be sitting at the edge of your seat trying to guess what the person in front of you (or on the telephone) is going to say so that you can fire back your response. But as you wait for the people you are communicating with to finish, as you simply listen more intently to what is being said, you’ll feel more relaxed, and so will the people you are talking to. They will feel safe in slowing down their own responses because they won’t feel in competition with you for “airtime”!
Not only will becoming a better listener make you a more patient person, it will also enhance the quality of your relationships. Everyone loves to talk to someone who truly listens to what they are saying.
ஒரு ஏழை ஒரு கிராமத்தில் வாழ்ந்து வந்தான். அவன் தன் வீட்டுத் தேவைக்காகத் தினமும் ஆற்றிலிருந்து தண்ணீர் எடுத்து வருவதை வழக்கமாகக் கொண்டிருந்தான்.
தண்ணீர் எடுத்து வர அவன் இரண்டு பானைகளை வைத்திருந்தான். அந்தப் பானைகளை ஒரு நீளமான கழியின் இரண்டு முனைகளிலும் தொங்க விட்டு, கழியைத் தோளில் சுமந்து செல்வான்.
இரண்டு பானைகளில் ஒன்றில் சிறிய ஓட்டை இருந்தது. அதனால் ஒவ்வொரு நாளும் வீட்டிற்கு வரும் பொழுது, குறையுள்ள பானையில் பாதியளவு நீரே இருக்கும்.
குறையில்லாத பானைக்குத் தன் திறன் பற்றி பெருமை. குறையுள்ள பானையைப் பார்த்து எப்பொழுதும் அதன் குறையைக் கிண்டலும் கேலியும் செய்து கொண்டே இருக்கும்.
இப்படியே இரண்டு வருடங்கள் கழிந்து விட்டன. கேலி பொருக்க முடியாத பானை அதன் எஜமானனைப் பார்த்துப் பின் வருமாறு கேட்டது.
"ஐயா! என் குறையை நினைத்து நான் மிகவும் கேவலமாக உணர்கிறேன். உங்களுக்கும் தினமும் என் குறையால், வரும் வழியெல்லாம் தண்ணீர் சிந்தி, உங்கள் வேலைப் பளு மிகவும் அதிகரிக்கிறது. என் குறையை நீங்கள் தயவு கூர்ந்து சரி செய்யுங்களேன்"
அதன் எஜமானன் கூறினான்.
"பானையே! நீ ஒன்று கவனித்தாயா? நாம் வரும் பாதையில், உன் பக்கம் இருக்கும் அழகான பூச்செடிகள் வரிசையைக் கவனித்தாயா? உன்னிடமிருந்து தண்ணீர் சிந்துவது எனக்கு முன்னமே தெரியும். அதனால்தான் வழி நெடுக பூச்செடி விதைகளை விதைத்து வைத்தேன். அவை நீ தினமும் சிந்திய தண்ணீரில் இன்று பெரிதாக வளர்ந்து எனக்கு தினமும் அழகான பூக்களை அளிக்கின்றன. அவற்றை வைத்து நான் வீட்டை அலங்கரிக்கிறேன். மீதமுள்ள பூக்களை விற்றுப் பணம் சம்பாதிக்கிறேன்"
இதைக் கேட்ட பானை கேவலமாக உணர்வதை நிறுத்தி விட்டது.
அடுத்தவர் பேச்சைப் பற்றிக் கவலைப்படாமல் தன் வேலையைக் கருத்துடன் செய்யத் தொடங்கியது.
நீதி: அடுத்தவர் பேச்சைப் பற்றிக் கவலைப்படாமல் தன் வேலையைக் கருத்துடன் செய்யவேண்டும்..!!
Your negative and insecure thinking can spiral out of control. Have you ever noticed how uptight you feel when you’re caught up in your thinking? And, to top it off, the more absorbed you get in the details of whatever is upsetting you, the worse you feel. One thought leads to another, and yet another, until at some point, you become incredibly agitated.
Needless to say, it’s impossible to feel peaceful with your head full of concerns and annoyances. The solution is to notice what’s happening in your head before your thoughts have a chance to build any momentum.
The sooner you catch yourself in the act of building your mental snowball, the easier it is to stop. You stop your train of thought before it has a chance to get going.
There once was a king who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried. The king looked at all the pictures. But there were only two he really liked, and he had to choose between them.
One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror for peacefully towering mountains all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.
The other picture had mountains, too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky, from which rain fell and in which lightning played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all. But when the king looked closely, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on the nest - in perfect peace.
Which picture do you think won the prize? The king chose the second picture. Do you know why?
"Because," explained the king, "peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace."
One day all the employees reached the office and they saw a big advice on the door on which it was written: “Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral”.
In the beginning, they all got sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who was that man who hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company itself.
The excitement in the gym was such that security agents were ordered to control the crowd within the room. The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up.
Everyone thought: “Who is this guy who was hindering my progress? Well, at least he died!”
One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul.
There was a mirror inside the coffin: everyone who looked inside it could see himself. There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: “There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: IT IS YOU”.
Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your centre changes. Your life changes when YOU change..
Many hundreds of years ago in a small Italian town, a merchant had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to the moneylender. The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the merchant's beautiful daughter so he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the merchant's debt if he could marry the daughter. Both the merchant and his daughter were horrified by the proposal.
The moneylender told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty bag. The girl would then have to pick one pebble from the bag. If she picked the black pebble, she would become the moneylender's wife and her father's debt would be forgiven. If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven. But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.
They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the merchant's garden. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick her pebble from the bag.
What would you have done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you have told her? Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:
1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble. 2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the moneylender as a cheat. 3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.
The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking. The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.
"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked." Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an advantageous one.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Most complex problems do have a solution, sometimes we have to think about them in a different way.
The husband and wife gifted themselves a new car for their first wedding anniversary. They drove downtown, watched a movie, and finally returned home. They didn't have the garage facility. So the car was parked in the street. To their utter shock, when they woke up the next morning, the car was missing. The car was stolen. First car, first wedding anniversary gift, and they had enjoyed the car for just a day. The wife couldn't take it. With misty eyes she sank into the sofa. The husband too was a little jolted, but he said, “The car is lost. You can feel heavy about it. You can take it easy. Either way the car is lost. Then, why not take it easy.” She gave him a cold stare and the moment passed.
A logical question: When the car, how can anyone take it easy? But what else can you do? Feel heavy, if you want; take it easy, if you want - either way, after the emotional drama, what has to be done has to be done. The police complaint has to be lodged; the insurance has to be claimed… what has to be done has to be done.
You left the milk a little longer than required on the gas stove. The boiled milk is beginning to overflow from all sides of the vessel. Scream, wail, screech, get tensed, and let your BP to shoot up… after all the emotional drama, now what? You will switch the stove off, offload the milk vessel and clean the kitchen countertop. So, eventually what has to be done will be done. Here we are not discussing about not being emotional, but about avoiding the dramatic emotional reactions. Emotions - yes. Emotional drama - no!
Emotional maturity is not about avoiding emotions, but it is about avoiding the emotional drama. Anyways, what has to be done has to be done. Then, why the drama?
